Saturday, April 16, 2011

Dear You Giant C-Word

So you back for more, eh? I should have suspected you were stupid enough to come back to get your ass kicked again. You’re like stormtroopers meets the foot. You come in droves, and you keep getting your balls handed to you. Your technique is sloppy and your aim is horrible
Like the stormtroopers, you live in this gargantuan mass that is ominous, but not without penetrable weaknesses. And where do I live? I live in the in the Millennium Falcon and have a timeshare in an X-Wing. With almost no effort I will destroy you, and without the use of a targeting computer

You may think I’m Alderaan. I am Luke Skywalker, Lando Calrissian, and Wedge Antilles combined.  I am a Jedi ninja, I will use the Force up your ass and then take some nun-chucks to your nads.

At times you may have made me feel like Raphael on top of April O’Neil’s apartment. But then I remember all the awesome friends and family members I have, and then I remember that I’m actually Splinter, and I will make 
you die…without honor.

Heather a.k.a The Jedi Ninja