Scientist 1 (at CERN): Commencing neutrino beam in three...two...
Scientist 2 (at Gran
Sasso): Uh, Sven, do you know how to do a fucking countdown? You obviously
already pressed the button too early, you ignoramus.
S1: What? No I
didn't! I haven't pressed the button yet! And don't call me an ignoramus,
S2: You sure you
haven't pressed the button yet? Look at it to make sure you didn't drop some of
your country's tasteless chocolate on it.
clean, fascist. You sure your greasy, fat ass wasn't too busy eating lasagna
when you were supposed to be archiving the results from the previous test? By
the way I just pressed the button, Mussolini.
S2: I archived those
results last night, you Aryan douchenozzle. Oh, now the neutrinos have stopped.
S1: Ok let's try this
shit again, but first let's text each other pictures of our consoles just so we
both know they are clean.
S2: Ok sent.
S1: Same. Ok let's
try this again. Commencing neutrino beam in three...two...
S2: Ok seriously,
Sven, your head must have as many holes as your disgusting national cheese.
You pressed the button too goddamned early again.
S1: ...one. Are
you fucking with me? I pressed the button right when I said one. Besides, no
one can trust a whop's sense of timing.
S2: Suck it, commie.
Is there anyone at that broke dick lab that can confirm your countdown?
S1: YES! Clause can.
You know how punctual those German assholes are.
S2: Then put that
Gestapo on the line.
S3: I confirm that
Sven's countdown was accurate.
S1: Now can your
greasy fingers send me another pic of your console to confirm the results?
S2: Already sent.
S1: And received.
S2: Yeah I'm stumped
S1: Do you think it's
S2: I know what
you're thinking. Let's not be hasty. Let's run the test one more time.
S1: Agreed. Ok
commencing neutrino beam in 3...2...
S1: ...ONE. WHAT THE
S2: Is it possible
these neutrinos are coming faster than the speed of light?
S1: Funny, your wife
said the same thing about your dick last night.
S1: Nothing. Anyway,
these neutrinos just might be traveling faster than the speed of light. That
would be amazing!
S2: Yeah, but we
should ask some of our buddies to check our results. But man, if this is true,
you know what that means?
S1: That time travel
is possible. And if time travel is possible we could...
S2: Prevent America
from being colonized?
S1: Yes. Fuck
S2: Yeah seriously,
fuck those guys.