Wednesday, June 27, 2012

40 (Seemingly) Minor Offenses that Deserve Death by Firing Squad

  1. Standing in doorways
  2. Talking loudly on your phone for no reason
  3. Groups walking in line down a street very slowly
  4. Not letting people merge
  5. Wearing Crocs in public
  6. Watching nothing but reality shows
  7. Smoking in crowded areas
  8. Discarding cigarette butts outside of an ashtray
  9. Listening to music too loudly on headphones
  10. Not only talking in theaters, but asking questions in a that no one nearby could have the answer to, i.e. "What happens next?"
  11. Getting offended at offhand cussing when there are only adults present
  12. Telling a woman that her behavior isn't "ladylike"
  13. Telling a total stranger to smile
  14. Littering
  15. Cutting in line
  16. Waiting until you get to the front of the line to decide on your food or drink order
  17. Listening to music on headphones while socializing
  18. Posting NSFW links without an NSFW tag
  19. Telling boring stories with no care for your audience
  20. Refusing to try new food
  21. Interrupting, especially interrupting the punchline to a long joke
  22. Bonus bullets if the above offender is a waiter/waitress
  23. Rehosting images without giving author credit 
  24. Using the word like for like every other like word. Do you people not hear yourselves?
  25. Using the word "irregardless" 
  26. Using the phrase "I could care less"
  27. Reckless malapropism. Look it up.
  28. Indiscriminant contrarianism. "I don't like X because you like X." "But X is food." "Yeah never been a big fan."
  29. Not giving polite acknowledgment when someone is holding the door open for you
  30. Treating wait staff poorly
  31. Being more than 20 minutes late to meet up with someone (assuming everything was in the offender's control)
  32. Oversharing
  33. Not caring about politics
  34. Thinking reading is "for dorks"
  35. Leaving passive aggressive or vague Facebook status updates
  36. Leaving too many Facebook status updates
  37. Telling people to not fidget. Screw you! Don't tell me what to do with my body.
  38. Talking way too much about how you love coffee
  39. Saying whatever you want but getting easily offended when others' speak their mind
  40. Thinking minor offenses should be punishable by death

Monday, June 25, 2012

My extremely intensive and extensive review of Prometheus

Ridley Scott, did you even read the fucking script?

Grade: C-- (Only because it was pretty)