40 (Seemingly) Minor Offenses that Deserve Death by Firing Squad

1. Standing in doorways
2. Talking loudly on your phone for no reason
3. Groups walking in line down a street very slowly
4. Not letting people merge
5. Wearing Crocs in public
6. Watching nothing but reality shows
7. Smoking in crowded areas
8. Discarding cigarette butts outside of an ashtray
9. Listening to music too loudly on headphones
10. Not only talking in theaters, but asking questions in a that no one nearby could have the answer to, i.e. "What happens next?"
11. Getting offended at offhand cussing when there are only adults present
12. Telling a woman that her behavior isn't "ladylike"
13. Telling a total stranger to smile
14. Littering
15. Cutting in line
16. Waiting until you get to the front of the line to decide on your food or drink order
17. Listening to music on headphones while socializing
18. Posting NSFW links without an NSFW tag
19. Telling boring stories with no care for your audience
20. Refusing to try new food
21. Interrupting, especially interrupting the punchline to a long joke
22. Bonus bullets if the above offender is a waiter/waitress
23. Rehosting images without giving author credit 
24. Using the word like for like every other like word. Do you people not hear yourselves?
25. Using the word "irregardless" 
26. Using the phrase "I could care less"
27. Reckless malapropism. Look it up.
28. Indiscriminant contrarianism. "I don't like X because you like X." "But X is food." "Yeah never been a big fan."
29. Not giving polite acknowledgment when someone is holding the door open for you
30. Treating wait staff poorly
31. Being more than 20 minutes late to meet up with someone (assuming everything was in the offender's control)
32. Oversharing
33. Not caring about politics
34. Thinking reading is "for dorks"
35. Leaving passive aggressive or vague Facebook status updates
36. Leaving too many Facebook status updates
37. Telling people to not fidget. Screw you! Don't tell me what to do with my body.
38. Talking way too much about how you love coffee
39. Saying whatever you want but getting easily offended when others' speak their mind
40. Thinking minor offenses should be punishable by death