Another "Best Of Expulsion" Article

Expulsion Exclusive!: Bush’s
Rough Draft of RNC Speech

Thanks to the heroic efforts of Expulsion’s own team of undercover spies, we have obtained a rare first draft of George W. Bush’s Speech at the Republican National Convention. Many thanks to those who lost their lives for this historic document.


My Speech for the Republikaan Nashunal Convenshun

My name is George Dubl U Bush. My mommy
sayz I should run for Prezadent agin. She sayz
I.m the coolest boy in the Whit Horse. I wuld
make a good prezadent agin cause I gave lots
of monies to all my friends. If I am eleckted
prezadent agin, I will give more monies to my
friends. If I am prezadent I will not alow homor
homer homosech Gaywads to get married. My
friend, Mr. Cheney, sayz I should get reeelekted
cause Mr. John Kerry is an fword-ing butthole. Mr.
Cheney also say that Mr. Kerry is a small cat. He
uses another word for small cat, but mommy
sayz that I shouldn.t say it. I think Mr. Kerry.s nose
loks like a giant peepee, and his cheeks look like
droopy balls.
I like playing war a lot. We should get into
more wars with the terororists. Terororists are
scary brown men with Weapons of Mass
Destrukshun. Did I say Weapons? I mean Programs
for WMDs. Did I say programs? I mean
plans for programs of WMDs. Besides, a terororist
with a slingshot is still a terororist, and I say we
should see their slingshots with rocket launchers. I like rocket launchers.
I also like horses and frogs and I hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight.
But I also like starting fights with the smelly brown people. It makes me
feel big, like He-Man. When I grow up I want to be He-man, or possibly a
CHoo-Choo train. When I am a choo-choo train, I will drive all the way to
the middle east and run over osama bin laden. Then I will take his snack
pack money.
I think i will make a great prezadent because i am good speaker
and i like blowing things up. Prezadents have to like blowing things up,
cause that is their job. If you make me prezadent, I will make sure that
tatter tots are served every friday, and that their will be a bigger hot
tub in every millionaire's bathroom. Thank you.