Monday, September 21, 2009

Quotes from the Journey

I haven’t written in awhile, but that’s because I’ve been traveling quite a bit. I’ve been to Delaware, West Virginia, San Francisco and Alaska. I could write books on my journey to Alaska, but I figured the story could be best summed up in the quotes that were said or heard throughout the journey.

Here’s one that my friend Gina, my travel mate, overheard:

Elderly Woman with Thick Midwestern Accent: I heard there is a 24-hour boooooofay.
Elderly Man with Thicker Midwestern Accent: I need to go back to der room.
EMWTMA: I forgot mah teef.
EWWTMA: Oh Cecil!

Here’s one exchange between Gina and Me:

Me: What time is it?
(Gina hits her chest repeatedly looking for her cell phone)
Me: Is it retard time?

A few others that are totally clear and do not need any context:

“I need to quote that quote in my quotebook.”
“Check out that DILF!”
“I know how to turn things on.”
“I don’t want to shake your penis.”

Some funny mispronunciations:

“Ackckckkohol” (said after having a lot of it)

And the coup d'état:

John: You’re wrong!
Gina: You’re gay!
John: I’m married!
Gina: You’re still wrong, dumbshit!
John: Booyah!

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