You were a best friend to my cousin. You were a nice guy, but you had your demons. You let them take over you, and you took it out on others. I wish I could grab you and say "Why, Mike, why? My cousin already lost his first best friend (his dad). Now he's lost you. Not only that, you rob two young children of their mother. You should have accepted help. What where you thinking?"
I actually prayed last night. I prayed that God forgives you. I really meant it. I prayed for the soul of the officer's life you took. I prayed for the officer that is still in intensive care. I prayed for their families.
The news sources have inaccurately described you. They interviewed kids that barely knew you. You were fun, you made people laugh. You liked to freak people out as well, so you were misunderstood. You also had many troubles. You snapped. That doesn't really change what you did. But it gives us understanding. It helps us grieve a little better, knowing that you did not willfully commit this act.
Some sources say that you escaped from a mental institution. You should have stayed. You wouldn't have hurt as many people. You wouldn't have hurt yourself. But the fault is not entirely your own. I feel that your parents did you wrong. Hell, the police are even having a hard time contacting them. I also theorize that you got the guns from their personal stash. Never more has my support for gun control been more galvanized.
I should have helped you. I notice the signs when I talked to you . You had family problems. You had the same self-hate that I once had. I should have given you a number, anything, for someone to help you.
GOD. FORGIVE. YOU.